Is Tru-Green a Pantone color, or a lifestyle?

TRU-GREEN entreats me to “Fight Weeds Now, and start living the lawn life”

Envelopes from TruGreen that offer weed control services

They provide “PhD-developed plans” that offer “Guaranteed results.”

Yes, I too have dreamed of killing native pollinators, doing away with pretty little flowers that require no maintenance from me, and living on a spot of featureless monocultural green with no connection to the ecology of the region where I live. Those are pretty much the ‘results’ they guarantee.

As exciting as ‘the lawn life’ sounds, I think I’ll pass.